We are pleased to announce the hiring of a full-time Executive Director, Ms. Anjali Devaraj Tierney. Anjali joined the ASAFSF team on June 3rd . ASAFSF welcomes Anjali and looks forward to growing its services and programs under her leadership.
We Mourn Stacy Singh: Statement and Call to Action
The tragic news of the murder of Stacy Singh on this New Year day has shocked and saddened all at Arizona South Asians For Safe Families (ASAFSF). We at ASAFSF grieves with Stacy Singh’s children and supports the actions being planned by the SAWOs and this statement.
We Mourn Stacy Singh: Statement and Call to Action
We are deeply saddened and troubled by the death of Stacy Singh, the twenty-six year old Indo-Caribbean woman brutally murdered by her abusive husband, Vishwanand Loknath, in New York City’s first homicide of 2018. On the morning of January 1, Stacy was stabbed repeatedly in her home in Richmond Hill, Queens, before her husband took his own life. Their two small children, ages 5 and 1, are left behind.
We are in shock and grief at this senseless murder of a young woman and mother. At Sakhi for South Asian Women, we work with the South Asian community to end violence against women and support immigrant survivors in their paths to healing and rebuilding after abuse. We work with other organizations across the U.S. advocating for South Asian survivors of sexual abuse, domestic violence, trafficking, and trauma.
What happened to Stacy Singh is horrific but we know that domestic violence and abuse against women is not uncommon in our community, or in the world today. At this time we recommit ourselves to our work in the movement for gender justice, collective liberation, and fostering communities where all people can live with opportunity and hope. We call upon you to support us in our advocacy, to educate yourselves and your communities, and to uplift the voices of marginalized groups. Together we fight back against violence and the patriarchal systems that hurt us all.
We stand in solidarity with Jahajee Sisters, a New York City movement-building organization of Indo-Caribbean women, who released a heartfelt and critically important open letter in the wake of Stacy Singh’s murder. In it, they invite us to stand with them as we summon our collective strength to do whatever it takes to stop the killing of women, to foster our power together, and to engage in productive and courageous conversations within our own families and communities. We stand with Jahajee Sisters and with the Indo-Caribbean community suffering the loss of yet another brilliant and beloved woman at the hands of an abuser.
We recommit today to amplifying the voices of all South Asians, and recognize that too often the experiences that receive widespread attention do so as a result of privilege and visibility. We recognize that it takes ALL of us, working in solidarity and in community, to end cycles of violence and work towards gender justice.
As organizations working with South Asian survivors, we know that the work of ending gender-based violence is multi-pronged, intergenerational, and complex. Our hearts are with the family of Stacy Singh, especially her two young children left orphaned, and all those who knew and
loved her. We stand with her loved ones and with all those today who may be suffering abuse in silence, fighting to be heard and to live safely and healthily.
We must use our voices and state openly that we will no longer tolerate this violence. We must say that survivors’ experiences matter, their lives matter, that we will seek justice for and with them. We must channel our outrage and our pain into healing, support, and justice, and look ahead.
As Jahajee Sisters said in their open letter, “Let’s stop asking “Why would she stay?” and start asking “Why did he abuse?!” And let’s make clear that alcohol, infidelity, and other excuses are not the cause. If you are a man who wants to create change, please talk to other men. If you lead a place of worship, preach about gender justice. Send the message loudly and consistently that you will not stand for hatred, abuse, and oppression of women. Build a world where we all have power and control over our bodies and our lives. It starts with each of us.”
If you are not sure where to start and how to start these conversations, contact one of our organizations or a local domestic violence organization in your community.
Don’t let her death be in vain. If you are outraged and in pain to hear of Stacy Singh’s senseless murder, please take the time to educate yourself about domestic and gender-based violence. Call out sexist and enabling behavior when you see it, speak up about its impact, and support organizations like ours working tirelessly to advocate for survivors. If you are able, please join us at a vigil for Stacy Singh, organized by Jahajee Sisters, on Monday, January 15th at 3:00 p.m. at Bhuvaneshwar Mandir (86-06 101 Avenue, Ozone Park, Queens 11416).
If you know someone or are currently being abused, please know that there is help available and that you are not alone. Please call 1-888-799-SAFE to be connected with resources in your area, or contact one of the organizations listed below to receive help and information. The time is now.
Signatories
Apna Ghar, Inc.
Arizona South Asians for Safe Families
CHETNA
Daya Houston
Domestic Harmony Foundation
Jahajee Sisters: Empowering Indo-Caribbean Women
Kiran, Inc. (Domestic Violence and Crisis Counseling Services)
Maitri
Narika
Raksha, Inc. Atlanta, Ga
SAALT: South Asian Americans Leading Together
SAATHI of Rochester, Inc.
Saheli, Inc. Boston
Sakhi for South Asian Women
SAWERA, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCE CENTER
South Asian Network (SAN)
South Asian Public Health Association
Group helps South Asian women escape domestic violence
by Srianthi Perera • The Arizona Republic
At 28, Sowmya Ayyar married a man she barely knew. Even though she lived in California, her parents arranged her marriage to a man in Arizona according to Indian tradition. She felt he was manipulative during their seven-month engagement, but she didn’t back out.”In the Indian community, it’s not looked right upon if you back out of an engagement,” said Ayyar, who lived in Gilbert.
But Ayyar wasn’t prepared for the isolation and abuse that she says followed. She says there was shoving and slapping, and since she wasn’t earning much, she was told she didn’t have a right to spend her husband’s money. Her husband, an engineer, also didn’t like her making friends, she said.
I phoned a friend every evening, and remember being very scared when the garage door opened,” she said.
Her parents weren’t much help. “You have to do what he says,” she said they told her. “You’re not cooking enough for him.” After she says her husband threatened to kill her, she left. Later, Ayyar contacted Arizona South Asians for Safe Families.
Back in California, Ayyar is divorced and getting her life back on track. But there are many in the Valley who haven’t escaped. As the Valley’s population of residents of southern Asian descent grows, incidents of domestic violence are increasing, volunteers say. There are an estimated 27,000 people of Indian origin in metro Phoenix. Adding those from Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Bhutan and Sri Lanka, the number is 40,000. Since Arizona South Asians for Safe Families established a hotline in November 2006, more than 400 have called seeking help, and volunteers have answered more than 1,700 service-related e-mail queries. Apart from physical and emotional abuse, victims also are faced with financial abuse, culture-specific family manipulation, social isolation and a lack of community support, they say.
In India, marital rape sometimes is excused, and women may be abused for not cooking a tasty meal or for going out without informing the husband, said Arizona State University professor Manjira Datta. “Over here, we know there are laws. But, we say, ‘oh so what’s a little slap, what’s a little push, just get along . . . ‘ That’s our big thing: get along,” said Bharati Sen, a hospital administrator.
“Because of the stereotype that the south Asian community is very successful and it’s a model community, they don’t want the negativity to come out,” said volunteer Kalpana Batni. Like most fledgling non-profits, the group, which has 25 members, is struggling amid a lack of funds and volunteers. Its revenue during the 2009-10 budget year was $20,000. To mobilize the community, it will present a classical dance performance Saturday at Scottsdale’s Kerr Cultural Center.
Datta, Batni and Sen are among five volunteers who have taken the 40-hour training course from Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence in Phoenix. This enables them to work directly with the victims, whom they often accompany on visits to doctors, lawyers and therapy, sometimes translating. About 70 percent of their cases involve women whose visas are tied to their husband’s work visas. They can’t obtain a Social Security number, which means they can’t work and are dependent on the spouse. The situation is aggravated when they have children born in the United States. Some cases end up in divorce, which means the women must return to their home countries. Taking the child with them amounts to kidnapping, Sen said.
Another prevalent situation is mistrust, which hampers victims from seeking help. One outreach program, Chai-Chat, involves volunteers going to homes and speaking to groups of women. Volunteers believe they are making a difference.
“In some small way, we have succeeded in making this a public matter,” Sen said. “It’s not like, well, this should remain in the family. No, this is a public matter. It’s a crime.”
To volunteer – contact ASAFSF today.
Press Release: ASAFSF and ACESDV Respond to Sexual Assault Allegation on Temple Priest
Contact: Bharati Sen, President , Arizona South Asians for Safe Families
p: 1-877-723-3711 c: 480-710-1858 email: president@asafsf.org
Contact: Jessye Johnson, Chief Strategy Officer Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence p: 602-279-2900 x415
c: 480-242-5328 email: jj@acesdv.org
(PHOENIX, AZ) – Arizona South Asians for Safe Families and the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence (ACESDV) today issued the following statement regarding sexual assault allegations against a local temple priest:
Arizona South Asians for Safe Families and the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence Respond to Sexual Assault Allegation on Temple Priest
Contact: Bharati Sen, President , Arizona South Asians for Safe Families
p: 1-877-723-3711 c: 480-710-1858 email: president@asafsf.org
Contact: Jessye Johnson, Chief Strategy Officer Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence p: 602-279-2900 x415
c: 480-242-5328 email: jj@acesdv.org
(PHOENIX, AZ) – Arizona South Asians for Safe Families and the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence (ACESDV) today issued the following statement regarding sexual assault allegations against a local temple priest:
The Indian community in the Valley has recently been shaken by the report of sexual assault of a minor girl by a local temple priest who is currently being held in custody without bail. Sexual assault, especially when a child is victimized, is reprehensible and offenders must be held accountable for their actions. According to the National Institute for Justice, 74% of children who are victims of sexual abuse know their perpetrator.
Any time a child discloses sexual abuse, we must listen and take that seriously,” said Allie Bones, Chief Executive Officer for the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence. Both ASAFSF and ACESDV are shocked and saddened by this abhorrent incident, but even more so by the lack of community outrage and at the hushed tones in which the incident is being referred to in order to protect the integrity of the temple. “The safety and support of the minor victim should be most important and bring the community together,” said Bharati Sen, President of ASAFSF.
ASAFSF and ACESDV are available as a resource for any help that anyone may choose to seek. Both organizations feel that open community conversations about the issues of sexual and domestic violence are essential in an effort to hold perpetrators accountable, regardless of their position in the community. Bharati Sen also stated, “The victim and the community have to begin to heal and people must feel free to talk. We have the resources and we can help.”
For more information or to talk to an advocate, please call Arizona South Asians for Safe Families at (877) SAFE-711 or (877) 723-3711. You may also call the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence at 1-800-782-6400 or (602) 279-2900.